CHAPTER XXXVIII.

Of certain devout practices of a young beginner in his early years.

ONCE upon a time the sick spiritual daughter besought the Servitor, who had come to see her in her illness, to tell her something about spiritual things, not of too grave a kind, but yet such as a godly soul would hear with pleasure. Upon which he told her about his devout practices in early life, in the following words:—

As the Servitor was in his youth of a lively temperament, he made it a practice for a long time, whenever he was bled, to turn in spirit to God under the cross, and, lifting up his wounded arm, to say, with an inward sigh:—Ah, Friend of my heart! remember that it is the way with lovers to go to their beloved ones at the time of blood-letting, in order that the new blood may be good. But Thou knowest well, dear Lord, that I have no beloved one save Thee alone, and therefore I come to Thee to bless my wound and make my blood good.

At this same season of his youth, when his face was still in its fresh bloom and beauty of colour, it was his practice, as often as he shaved himself, to go to the Lord, and say:—Ah, sweet Lord, if my countenance and mouth were as rosy as the hue of all red roses, Thy Servitor would keep them for Thee, and give them to no one else; and though Thou lookest only to the heart, and regardest little what is outward, nevertheless, dearest Lord, my heart offers Thee herein a love-token in testimony that it turns to Thee, and to none but Thee.

When he put on a new tunic or cloak, he would first go to his usual place of prayer and beseech the Lord of heaven, who had provided him with this garment, to wish him luck and happiness in it, and to help him to wear it out in the fulfilment of His all-lovely will.

Before this, in his childhood, it had been his custom, when the beautiful summer came and the tender flowrets first began to spring up, never to pluck or touch a flower until he had greeted with the gift of his first flowers his spiritual love, the sweet, blooming, rosy maid, God’s Mother. When it seemed to him that the time for doing this had come, he picked the flowers with many loving thoughts, and, carrying 180them to his cell, made a garland of them; and then he went into the choir, or into our Lady’s chapel, and, kneeling down very humbly before our dear Lady, placed the garland upon her image, in the hope that, as she was the fairest of all flowers, and the bliss of summer to his heart, she would not disdain to accept these first flowers from her Servitor.

Once upon a time, when he had thus crowned the all-lovely one, it seemed to him in a vision that heaven was opened, and he saw the bright angels ascending and descending in shining garments. He heard likewise in the court of heaven the blissful attendants singing the loveliest song which was ever heard. But chiefly they sang a song about our dear Lady, which rang so sweetly that his soul melted within him from excess of rapture, and it was like what is sung of her in the sequence on All-Saints day, “Illic regina virginum, transcendens culmen ordinum, etc.;” which means, that the pure Queen soars high above all the heavenly host in honour and dignity. He too began to sing with the heavenly company, and it left behind in his soul a great savour of heaven and longing after God.

Once, at the beginning of May, he had, 181according to his custom, placed with great devotion a garland of roses upon his loveliest heavenly Lady; and that same morning early, as he had come from a distance and was tired, he intended to allow himself a longer sleep, and to omit his usual greeting to the Virgin at the proper hour. Now when the time had come for him to greet her, as he was wont to do, and he should have got up, it seemed to him as if he were in the midst of a heavenly choir, and that they were singing the Magnificat in praise of God’s Mother. When it was ended, the Virgin came forward, and bade the brother begin the verse, “O vernalis rosula, etc.;” which signifies, O thou lovely little rose of summer. He thought within himself what she could mean by this, and yet, wishing to obey her, he began in joyous mood, “O vernalis rosula.” Whereupon immediately three or four youths of the heavenly company, who were standing there in choir, began to sing with him, and then the rest of the choir took up the strain, as if in rivalry, and they sang so merrily, that the sound rang out as sweetly as if all stringed instruments were resounding there together. But his mortal frame could not bear this excess of melody, and he came to himself again.

On the day after our Lady’s feast of the Assumption, he was once more shown a vision of great joy in the court of heaven. But no one was allowed to enter in who was not worthy to be present there. Now when the Servitor was very anxious to press in, there came a youth who caught him by the hand, saying:—It is not for thee to enter in at present. Thou hast done wrong, and must expiate thy misdeed, before thou wilt be allowed to hear the song of heaven. Then he led him by a crooked path into an underground hole, which was dark and desolate, and very miserable to look at. The Servitor could not move in it either to the one side or to the other; but he lay there like a man in a dungeon, who cannot see either the sun or the moon. This was a sore suffering to him, and he began to bemoan and lament himself on account of his imprisonment. Soon afterwards the youth came back, and asked him how it fared with him. The Servitor answered:—Very ill. Then the youth said to him:—Know that the sovereign Queen of Heaven is angry with thee on account of the fault for which thou art lying here in prison. The Servitor was greatly terrified at this, and said:—Woe is me! utterly miserable that I am, what 183have I done to her? He answered:—She is angry with thee for being so unwilling to preach about her on her festivals, and because yesterday on her great festival thou didst refuse thy superior’s request, saying that thou wouldst not preach about her. The Servitor made answer:—Alas, my friend and master! it seems to me in truth that she is worthy of far greater honour than what I can give her, and that I am of too little account to undertake this office. Therefore I yield it up to those who are old and worthy; for methinks they can preach more worthily about her than I, poor man, can. To this the youth replied:—Know that it pleases her to receive this honour from thee, and it is an acceptable service from thee in her eyes. Therefore refuse no more. The Servitor began to weep, and said to the youth:—Ah, dearest youth! make my peace with the pure Mother, for I promise thee by my troth that it shall not happen again. The youth smiled, and consoled him lovingly, and led him home out of the prison, saying:—I have observed, from the kindly way in which the Queen of Heaven looked at and spoke of thee, that she will lay aside her anger against thee, and will always love thee with a mother’s faithful love.

It was the Servitor’s practice when he loft his cell, or returned to it, to pass through the choir before the Sacrament; for he thought within himself that he who has a very dear friend any where upon his road, is very glad to make his journey a little longer in order to hold some loving converse with him.

A man once asked God to bestow upon him a heavenly carnival, as he did not wish for an earthly one from creatures. And while his senses were stilled in ecstasy, it seemed to him as if the dear Christ came in, under the form which He wore when He was thirty years of age, and signified to him that He would grant him his request, and make for him a heavenly carnival. Then He took a cup of wine in His hand, and presented it to three men, who were sitting there at table, one after the other. The first sank down powerless; the second also became a little faint; but the third was not affected by it. Upon this the Lord explained to him the difference between a beginner, a proficient, and a perfect man,—how unlike they are in the way in which they bear themselves in spiritual sweetness.

When the Servitor had finished conversing with his spiritual daughter about these and 185such-like divine endearments, she wrote it all down secretly, and then placed it in a box, which she locked up for concealment and security.

Now one day there came to her a good sister, to whom she had given the box in charge, saying:—Dear sister, what is this marvellous heavenly secret which thou hast in thy box? I dreamed this night that there was in thy box a young heavenly boy, and that he had .a sweet stringed instrument in his hands, from which he drew such ravishing spiritual melodies, that it filled many a one with spiritual delight. I pray thee bring forth for us what thou hast locked up, that we too may read it. But she kept silence, and would not speak to her about it, for it had been forbidden her.