CHAPTER XXXVII.

Of the first lessons and examples which are suitable for a beginner, and how he should regulate his exercises with discretion.

AT the first beginning of the Servitor’s interior life, after he had purified his soul properly by confession, he marked out for himself, in thought, three circles, within which he shut himself up, as in a spiritual intrenchment. The first circle was his cell, his chapel, and the choir. When he was within this circle, he seemed to himself in complete security. The second circle was the whole monastery as far as the outer gate. The third and outermost circle was the gate; and here it was necessary for him to stand well upon his guard. When he went outside these three circles, it seemed to him that he was in the plight of some wild-animal which is outside its hole, and surrounded by the hunt, and therefore in need of all its cunning and watchfulness.

He had, moreover, in his beginnings, made choice of a chapel as a place of retirement, in which he might satisfy his devotion by means of pictures. Now it should be observed that, in his youth, he had caused to be painted for himself, 169upon parchment, a picture of the Eternal Wisdom, who rules supreme over heaven and earth, and far surpasses all created things in ravishing beauty and loveliness of form; for which reason, when he was in the bloom of youth, he had chosen Wisdom for his beloved. He carried this lovely picture with him when he journeyed to the place of studies, and he always set it before him in the window of his cell, and used to look at it lovingly with heart felt longings. He brought it back home with him on his return, and caused it to be transferred to his chapel-wall as a token of affection. What other kinds of symbolical representations were there, bearing upon the interior life, and adapted to himself and other beginners, may be learned from the pictures and sayings of the ancient fathers painted on the walls. A part of these sayings, translated into the vulgar tongue, follows below, exactly as they were in scribed upon the chapel:—

The ancient father Arsenius asked the angel what he must do to be saved. The angel answered:—Thou must flee, and be silent and sit still.

Afterwards, in a vision, the angel read these 170words to the Servitor out of the book of the ancient fathers:—A well-spring of all bliss is to keep thyself quiet and in solitude.

Abbot Theodore. To keep thyself pure and spotless will advance thee more in knowledge than study will.

Abbot Moses. Sit in thy cell:—it will teach thee all things.

Abbot John. Keep thy outward man still, and thy inward man pure.

The same. A fish out of water and a monk out of his monastery will equally come to grief.

Anthony. Bodily mortification, interior devotion, and seclusion from men beget chastity.

The same. Wear no garment in which vanity can be discerned. The first battle of a beginner is boldly to resist sins.

The Shepherd. Be wroth with no one, until he tries to pluck out thy right eye.

Isidore. A wrathful man is displeasing to God, however great may be the miracles which he works.

Ipericius. It is a less sin to eat meat when it should have been avoided than to backbite thy neighbour.

Pior. It is very wicked to bring forward the sins of others, and to keep back our own.

Zachary. A man must suffer great humiliations if he is to arrive at perfection.

Nestor. Thou must first become an ass, if thou wouldst possess heavenly wisdom.

An Ancient. Thou shouldst be immovable in weal and woe, like one dead.

Helias. A pale complexion, a wasted body, and a lowly bearing beseem well a spiritual man.

Hilarion. A wanton horse and an unchaste body should have their provender cut down.

An Ancient. Take away from me wine, for the death of the soul lies hidden in it.

The Shepherd. He who still complains, and cannot keep from anger and much talking, will never become a spiritual man.

Cassian. As the dying Christ bore Himself upon the cross, so should our manner of life be fashioned.

Anthony said to a brother:—O man, help thyself; otherwise neither God nor I will ever help thee.

A woman besought the ancient father Arsenius to remember her before God. He answered:—I pray God to blot out thy image from my heart.

Macarius. I inflict many hardships on my body, because I have many temptations from it.

John, the father, said:—I have never done my own will, and I never taught any thing in words which I had not first practised in deeds.

An Ancient. Many words without deeds are vain; like the tree which bears many leaves, but no fruit.

Nilus. He who must have much intercourse with the world must needs also receive many wounds.

An Ancient. If thou canst do nothing else, keep guard at least over thy cell for God.

Ipericius. He who keeps himself chaste will be honoured here, and crowned by God hereafter.

Apollonius. Resist beginnings, and stop the serpent by the head.

Agathon. I have carried a stone in my mouth for three years, that I might learn silence.

Arsenius. I have often repented of having spoken, but never of having kept silence.

An ancient father was asked by a disciple how long he should keep silence. The father answered:—Until thou art asked a question.

St. Syncletica. If thou art sick, rejoice there at, for God has been mindful of thee.

The same. If thou art sick, do not ascribe it to thy fasts, for those also fall sick who do not fast.

The same. If thou art tried by temptations of the flesh, rejoice, for thou mayest become a second Paul.

Nestor, a good brother, said:—The sun never shone upon me eating.

Another called John added:—Nor upon me angry.

Anthony. The greatest virtue is to be able to observe moderation in all things.

Paphnutius. It is no use to begin well, unless thou dost carry it through to a good end.

Abbot Moses. Avoid whatever would deprive thee of purity of soul, however good it may appear.

Cassian. The term of all perfection is attained, when the soul, with all its powers, is gathered up into one only object, God.

The Servitor sent these examples and sayings of the ancient fathers to his spiritual daughter, who drank them all in, and applied them to herself, as though he had meant her also to exercise her body with severe chastisements, after the austere fashion of the ancient fathers. And she began accordingly to mortify and torment herself with hair-shirts, and cords, and cruel bands set round with sharp iron nails, and many other such-like instruments of penance.

But when the Servitor became aware of this, he wrote to her as follows:—Dear daughter, if thy purpose is to order thy spiritual life according to my teaching, as was thy request to me, cease from all such austerities, for they suit not the weakness of thy sex and thy well-ordered frame. The dear Jesus did not say, Take My cross upon you; but He said to each, Take up thy cross. Thou shouldst not seek to imitate the austerity of the ancient fathers, nor the severe exercises of thy spiritual father. Thou shouldst only take for thyself a portion of them, such as thou canst practise easily with thy infirm body, to the end that sin may die in thee, and yet thy bodily life may not be shortened. This is a very excellent exercise, and the best of all for thee.

She wished to know from him why he himself had practised such great austerities, and yet would not advise her or others to practise them. Upon this he referred her to the holy writings, saying:—It is written that, in former times, some among the ancient fathers led a life of such superhuman and incredible austerity, that the very mention of it is a horror to certain delicate persons of the present day; for they know not what burning devotion can enable a man, by the divine aid, to do and suffer for 175God. One who is filled with such fervour finds all impossible things become possible of accomplishment in God; just as David says, that with God’s help he would go through a wall (Ps. xvii. 30). It is also written in the book of the ancient fathers, that some of them did not treat themselves with such great severity as others did, and yet they were all striving to reach the self-same end. St. Peter and St. John had not the same training. Who can fully explain this marvel, unless it be that the Lord, who is wonderful in His Saints, wills, by reason of His high sovereignty, to be glorified in many different ways? Besides this, our natures are not all alike, and what is suit able to one, suits not another. Therefore it must not be thought that, if perchance a man has not practised such great austerities, he will be thereby hindered from arriving at perfection. At the same time, those who are soft and delicate should not despise austerities in others, or judge them harshly. Let each look to himself, and see what God wants of him, and attend to this, leaving all else alone. Speaking generally, it is much better to be moderate rather than immoderate in the practice of austerities. But as the mean is hard to find, it is wiser to keep a 176little under it, than to venture too high above it; for it often happens that, if a man mortifies his bodily frame to excess, he will have afterwards to indulge it to excess; though certainly many great Saints have forgotten themselves in this point through the fervour of their devotion. Such austerity of life, and the examples which have been mentioned, may be of use to those who are too tender with themselves, and to their own injury give too much rein to their rebellious bodies; but this concerns not thee, nor the like of thee. God has many kinds of crosses with which He chastens His friends. I look for Him to lay another sort of cross upon thy shoulders, which will be far more painful to thee than these austerities. Accept this cross with patience when it comes to thee.

Not long afterwards God afflicted the Servitor’s spiritual daughter with long and weary illnesses, so that she continued sickly in body until her death. She sent him word that it had come to pass with her as he had predicted. Upon which he wrote in answer thus:—Dear daughter, God has not only afflicted thee according to my words, but He has also wounded me in thee; for I have now no one left who will help me with the same diligence and godly 177faithfulness to complete my little book, as then didst when thou wert well. Therefore the Servitor besought God earnestly on thy behalf, that it might be His good will to give thee back thy health; and when God would not forthwith hearken to his prayer, he was angered against Him with a loving anger, and was minded that he would write no more books about the faithful God, and would likewise leave off his usual morning-greeting through ill-humour, unless God made thee well again. Now when he had sat down in the disquiet of his heart, according to custom, in his chapel, his senses were absorbed in ecstasy; and it seemed to him that a company of angels came before him in the chapel, and sang to comfort him a heavenly song, be cause they knew that at that time he was in peculiar sorrow; and they asked him why he looked so sad and did not sing with them. Then he told them how he had behaved in his excess to the dear God, because He would not hearken to his prayer for thy recovery. And they counselled him to desist from it, and not act thus; for that God had ordained this sickness for the best, and it would be thy cross in this world, and through it thou wouldst earn great grace here, and a manifold reward in 178heaven. Therefore be patient, my daughter, and receive it simply as a loving gift from the faithful God.