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THE SIXTEENTH CHAPTER.
A Prayer that we may follow Christ.
O Sweetest Jesus, Who wert forsaken by Thine own disciples, taken prisoner by Thy chosen people, betrayed, sold, and given up by Thy own apostle, led, shamefully bound, before Annas the high-priest, denied thrice by Thy chief apostle, and cruelly struck upon the face by a vile servant; I beseech Thee, O my God, by Thy most sacred Passion, and by all the contempt which Thou didst freely undergo for my sins, to forgive me whatever I have done wrong against Thy law, and the right of Thy commandments; and henceforward to direct all my life according to Thy most gracious will. Grant me also the grace to follow Thine example, by truly loving my enemies, and 130by doing good to them who do me wrong and trouble me. O my only comfort, so soften my heart, I beseech Thee, and make it so warm and pliable by the fire of Thy love, that Thou mayest be able, according to Thy will and desire, to beat it down with repeated blows of the hammer of affliction, and to work it into a vessel of love for the tenderness and delight of Thine own Heart, and that I may never faint away through frailty under these blows, but that at each blow I may send forth fiery sparks of patience and resignation! O Jesus, mirror of virtue, form of perfection, way of life, lantern to my feet, grant that I may faithfully keep to the footsteps of Thy patience, lowliness, obedience, and love, and so that my life may be in harmony with Thine, so far as this is possible for mortal man.
O Thou true Lover of men, Who desirest that no man should perish, but that all should turn to the knowledge of the truth, and be enlightened thereby, look upon me, I beseech Thee, from the bottom of my heart, with the eyes of Thy mercy, as Thou didst look on Peter, and Magdalen, and Matthew, and those many others, whom Thou didst draw forcibly away from the path of iniquity, to Thy singular love, that the rays of Thy divine light may shine in the dark depths of my soul, and that I may thus clearly know my measureless 131vileness, and wickedness, and my own nothing, and utterly annihilate myself in mine own eyes, and profoundly humble myself before Thee and all men, so far as it is possible for me, and pleasing and agreeable to Thee. O heat of the Love of God, that burnest so fervently, that no water can quench Thee, for Thou ever brightly glowest, nor can Thy flame ever fail, and Thou consumest and transformest all things into Thyself, even as the fire which is seen by the eye transformeth iron and wood; burn, I beseech Thee, all that Thou canst lay hold upon without obstacle, and melt my hard and stiffened heart by the heat of Thy love, that I may embrace Thee with the closest love, and that I may be all consumed in my poor, frail, and corrupt nature, given up, as it is, to the senses which, indeed, I did not make and form for myself, but which I have rather unmade, and deformed, and that I may become nothing, and by thy marvellous transformation may put on and wear a new form and likeness according to Thy likeness. And even as Thou, O everlasting Son of God, by the fellow-working of the Holy Ghost, wert made the Son of Man, and taking upon Thee what Thou wert not, didst yet remain what Thou wert, so in like manner make me to be born again into the number of Thy elect children, by the laying aside of the old, and carnal, and 132sensual man, and by the taking on of the new, and deiform man, created according to Thine image. O Key of David! that openest, and no man shutteth, that shuttest, and no man openeth, shut up, I beseech Thee, all the windows of my senses, through which entrance may be given to death, or the devil, or any wicked thing, into my soul, which is Thy house, and which holiness becometh. And because it hath pleased Thee to make Thy temple within us, keep Thy dwelling-place spotless, that it may be Thy everlasting house of prayer, and that it may please Thee to dwell therein for ever. Open only therein the eastern gate which Ezechiel saw, that is the highest part of my soul, of which Thou didst give command to Thy prophet, that no man should enter through it, for Thou, the King of Israel, wouldst keep its entrance for Thyself alone. Keep, then, for Thyself alone, this entrance, that it may lie wide open at the rising of Thy grace, and that when Thou, the Sun of Justice, beginnest to dawn over my darkened soul, straightway I may be able to receive in me the rays of Thy light, and that so, in the words of Holy Writ, my evening and Thy bright morning may be one day; and also that I who, times beyond number, have, with Peter, by my wicked works, denied Thee by night, may confess to Thee by day.
133Open up to me, also, O my God, the vein of tears, suffer mine eyes to grow weak and dim with weeping at the thought of many sins and of the wrongs I have done Thee, O Lord my God, by my dissolute and negligent life. Of a truth, most sweet God, Thou hast loved us beyond our poor understanding, and therefore Thou askest for a return of love from us, and I long to satisfy this demand of Thine, and desire to love Thee in return, O my God, with my whole heart, and strength, and thought. But, O most gracious God, I have fallen down to my own self upon the earth, my heart is full of stains, my spirit full of sluggishness, my understanding full of darkness, my thoughts full of distractions, and I have utterly lost the mastery over myself; for my own household fighteth against me, nor is there anyone subject unto me. Yea! with groans I complain to Thee, that the very wife, whom Thou hast given to be my helpmate, whom I have more than enough cherished in my bosom, I mean my own flesh, persecuteth me, and, like Eve, daily desireth my destruction, by vexing me, and offering me the forbidden food of pleasure. Wherefore I fly to Thee, O God, my protector. Enlighten, I beseech Thee, my inward eyes, that I consent not to sin; strengthen all my powers, that I may overcome mine enemies, and subject all my senses and 134all my members to my spirit, in order to serve Thee alone. Cleanse Thou my heart, inflame my spirit, enlighten my understanding, collect my thoughts, unite all my powers, and bind them together with the chain of Thy love, and the fetters of Thy fear, so that never more I may be estranged from Thee, but that ever subject and united to Thee, I may cleave unto Thee and faint not, but rather fear, and love, and thank, and praise, and bless Thee now and for evermore. Amen.
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