CHAPTER IX.

Of the way in which he went to table.

WHEN the time came for him to go to table, he used to kneel down in loving contemplation before the Eternal Wisdom, and beseech Him very earnestly to go with him to table and eat with him, saying:—Most sweet Jesus Christ, I invite Thee with the longing desire of my heart, and I pray Thee, even as Thou dost bountifully feed me, to grant me also to-day Thy gentle presence. Then, on sitting down to table, he would place opposite to him, as his table-companion, the dear guest of pure souls, and he would look at Him very tenderly, and often bow himself towards Him on the side of His heart. At each course that was set before him, he used to lift up the plate towards his Divine host, that He might give His holy blessing to it, and he would often say to Him, with a loving familiarity:—O my Lord, bless what is before us, and eat with Thy servant. Such were the words of tenderness with which he would address Him. Again, before he drank he would lift up the goblet and ask Him to drink first of it. At table he used to drink five draughts, and he drank them out of the five 34wounds of his dear Lord; and because water and blood flowed from the Divine side, he drank the last draught in two. He ate the first and the last mouthful in union with the love of the most loving heart which earth could possibly produce, and with the hottest love of the high est of the seraphim, desiring the while that his heart might have a full share in this love. He used to dip the food which he disliked into the wounded heart of his beloved, in firm trust that it could then no longer hurt him.

He had a fondness for fruit, but God would not let him indulge it. He had once a vision, in which it seemed to him that some one offered him an apple, saying:—Take this; it is what thou art so fond of. He answered:—Nay! all my fondness is for the lovely Eternal Wisdom. The other replied to him that this was not true, seeing that he took too much delight in fruit. This made him feel ashamed of himself, and for two years he ate no more fruit, much though he longed for it all the time. When the two years were ended, and the next year the fruit crop had failed, so that the convent was with out any, the Servitor, having now after many combats gained the mastery over himself, and wishing to be no longer singular at table about 35fruit, besought Almighty God, if it was His will that he should eat fruit, to supply the whole convent with it. And it came to pass accordingly; for when it was morning, an unknown person arrived with a large quantity of new pennies for the convent, and desired that fresh apples might be bought up every where with them. This was done, and thus the convent had fruit enough for a long time, and the Servitor began again to eat fruit with thankfulness.

He used to divide the large fruit into four parts; three of which he ate in the Name of the Holy Trinity, and the fourth in union with the love with which the heavenly Mother gave her gentle child Jesus a little apple to eat. This last part he ate without cutting it, because little children usually eat it in this way, uncut. From Christmas Day, for many days following, he did not eat the fourth part, but he offered it in contemplation to the gentle Mother, praying her to give it to her dear little Son, for whose sake he would meanwhile go without it.

If sometimes he began eating or drinking too eagerly, the presence of his venerable companion would make him ashamed of himself, and he would give himself a penance for it.

Once there came to him from another city 36a good person, who told him that God had said these words to him in a vision:—If thou wouldest learn how to conduct thyself at table as is meet, go to my Senator and bid him tell thee all his ways.