I. TO THE READER.

That the tunny fish may not want a toga, or the olives a cloak, and that the humble worm may not fear pinching famine, waste, you Muses, this Egyptian papyrus, over which I lose so much time. Winter, the season for revelry, asks for a new collection of witticisms. My tessera does not vie with the magnanimous talus,¹ nor do the sice and ace rattle in my ivory box. This paper is my plaything, this paper my dice-box, this game, if it brings me no gain, occasions me no loss.

¹ The tessera, "a dice," was smaller than the talus, "knuckle-bone." See Smith's Dict. Antiq. under those words.

II. TO A DETRACTOR.

You may be as keen-nosed as you please; in a word, you may be all nose, and so extensive that Atlas himself if asked, would be unwilling to carry it, and you may even excel Latinus ² himself in scoffing, still you cannot say more against my trifles than I have said myself What good can it do you to gnash one tooth against another? If you wish to indulge in biting, let flesh be your food. Do not lose your labour, but direct your venom against those who are enamoured of themselves. As for me, I know that my effusions are as nothing; not, however, that they are absolutely nothing, if you come to their perusal with candid judgment, and not with an empty stomach.³

² An actor in pantomime. See B. i., Ep. 5.
³  Grave, severe; not relaxed, as in the evening when the labours and cares of the day are over.

III. TO THE READER.

The whole multitude of mottos ¹ contained in this thin little book will cost you, if you purchase it, four small coins. If four is too much, perhaps you may get it for two, and the bookseller, Trypho, will even then make a profit. These distichs you may send to your entertainers instead of a present, if money is as scarce with you as it is with me. The names of all the articles are given as headings; so that you may pass by those which are not to your taste.

¹ The Book bears, in most editions, the title Xenia (gifts to guests), all the epigrams contained in it being inscriptions for presents. 

IV. FRANKINCENSE.

That Germanicus² may late begin to rule over the ethereal hall, and that he may long rule over the earth, offer pious incense to Jove.

² Domitian. See B. v. Ep. 2 and 39.

V. PEPPER.

When there falls to your lot a wax-coloured beccafico, which shines with fat back, you will, if you are wise, add pepper to it.

VI. BARLEY-WATER.

I send you barley-water: a rich man could send you honored wine. But if the rich man be unwilling to send it you, buy it.

The Bohn rendered Alica as 'furmity'; Ker as 'barley-water'.

VII. BEANS.

If the pale bean boils for you in the red earthenware pot, you may often decline the suppers of rich patrons.

VIII. PULSE.

Season common jars with Clusine pulse, that, when they are cleansed, you may drink sweet wine from them to your satisfaction.

IX. LENTILS. 

Receive these Egyptian lentils, a gift from Pelusium; if they are not so good as barley, they are better than beans.

X. WHEATEN FLOUR.

You would never be able to enumerate all the different qualities of wheaten flour, or its uses, seeing that both baker and cook apply it in many different ways.

XI. BARLEY.

Receive herewith, muleteer, what you so often steal from your dumb mules. I give it as a present to the innkeeper,¹ not to you.

¹ Who is to make sure that it is given to the mules, when you stop at his inn.

XII. CORN.

Accept three hundred pecks from the harvest of the Libyan husbandman, that your suburban farm may not grow sterile ¹.

¹ By being over-cropped; the gift will allow the farmer to let it lie fallow.

XIII. BEET.

That insipid beet, the food of artisans, may acquire some flavour, how often must the cook have recourse to wine and pepper!

XIV. LETTUCE.

Tell me why lettuce, which used to close the repasts of our forefathers, now commences our feasts?

XV. DRY WOOD.

If you cultivate fields in the neighbourhood of Nomentum,² bring wood, I charge you, countrymen, to the farm-house.

² Where the land was marshy, and dry wood scarce.

XVI. RADISHES.

These radishes which I present to you, and which are suited to the cold season of winter, Romulus still eats in heaven.³

³ Martial suggests that Romulus lived on the same frugal food in heaven that he had enjoyed on earth; as Virgil says that the souls of the dead in Elysium had the same delight in horses and arms as they had had while in the body. Aen. vi. 653.

XVII. CABBAGE SPROUTS. 

That young cabbages may not excite your disgust by their paleness, make them green by boiling them in nitrated water.

XVIII. LEEKS.

Whenever you have eaten strong-smelling shreds of the Tarentine leek, give kisses with your mouth shut.

XIX. LARGE-HEADED LEEKS.

Aricia, celebrated for its grove, sends us its best leeks: look at these green blades and snow-white stalks.

XX. TURNIPS. 

The lands near Amiternum abound in productive gardens; you may now eat more sparingly of the turnips of Nursia.

XXI. ASPARAGUS.

The delicate stalks cultivated on the coast of Ravenna will not be more grateful to the palate than this wild asparagus.

XXII. RAISINS.

I am a grape not suited to the cup or to Bacchus; but, if you do not attempt to drink me, I shall taste like nectar.

XXIII. CHIAN FIGS.

The Chian fig, like old wine from Setia, contains within it both wine and salt. ¹

¹ Compare B. vii. Ep. 24.

XXIV. QUINCES.

If quinces, well saturated with Attic honey, were placed before you, you would say, these honey-apples are delicious.

XXV. PINE CONES.

We are the apples of Cybele;² keep at a distance, passerby, lest we fall and strike your unfortunate head.

² The pine was sacred to Cybele, because her favourite Atys was changed into that tree.

XXVI. SERVICE BERRIES. 

We are service berries, good for astringing relaxed bowels; a fruit better suited to your little boy than yourself.

XXVII. A BUNCH OF DATES.

Gilded dates are offered on the Kalends of January;³ and yet this is the expected gift of a poor man.

³  There is no allusion to such a custom elsewhere.

XXVIII. A JAR OF PLUMS. 

These Syrian plums, which come to you enclosed in a wattled conical basket, had they been any larger, might have passed for figs.

XXIX. DAMASCENE PLUMS.

Accept these foreign plums, wrinkled with age: they are good for relaxing constipated bowels.

XXX. A CHEESE FROM LUNA.

This cheese, marked with the likeness of the Etruscan Luna,⁴ will serve your slaves a thousand times for breakfast.

⁴  Luna is a town in Etruria. The mark on the cheese was probably some likeness or emblem of the moon, or Diana.

XXXI. A VESTINE CHEESE.

In case you desire to break your fast economically, without meat, this mass of cheese comes to you from the flocks of the Vestini.¹

¹ A people of Italy, bordering on the Sabines. 

XXXII. SMOKED CHEESE.

It is not every hearth or every smoke that is suited to cheese; but the cheese that imbibes the smoke of the Velabrum² is excellent.

² A place near Rome, abounding with shops. 

XXXIII. CHEESE FROM TREBULA.

Trebula gave us birth; a double merit recommends us, for whether toasted at a gentle fire or softened in water, we are equally good.

XXXIV. BULBS.

If your wife is old, and your members languid, bulbs can do no more for you than fill your belly.³

³ To what particular bulb provocative effects were attributed, is uncertain. 

XXXV. SAUSAGE.

Daughter of a Picenian pig, I come from Lucania; by me a grateful garnish is given to snow-white pottage.

XXXVI. A JAR OF OLIVES.

This olive, which comes to us rescued⁴ from the presses of Picenum, both begins and ends our repasts.

⁴ Not having been put in the oil-press. 

XXXVII. CITRONS.

These fruits are either from the boughs of the garden of Corcyra, or were guarded by the dragon of Massylia.⁵

⁵ The dragon that kept the garden of the Hesperides.

XXXVIII. BEESTINGS

We give you, from the first milk of the mothers, sucklings of which the shepherd has deprived the dams while yet unable to stand.

XXXIX. THE KID.

Let the wanton creature, noxious to the green vine, pay the penalty of its crime; though so young, it has already injured the god of wine.

XL. EGGS.

If white fluid surround the saffron-coloured yolk, let pickle from the Spanish mackerel season the egg.

XLI. A SUCKING PIG.

Let the rich man place before me the nursling of a sluggish mother, fattened upon milk alone, and he may feed off an Aetolian boar himself.

XLII. POMEGRANATES WITH SOFT AND HARD STONES.

We present to you pomegranates with soft and hard stones, not from Libyan, but Nomentan trees.

XLIII. THE SAME. 

Pomegranates with soft stones, gathered from suburban trees, and early pomegranates with hard stones, are sent to you. What do you want with those from Libya?

XLIV. SOWS' TEATS.

You would hardly imagine that you were eating cooked sows' teats, so abundantly do they flow and swell with living milk.

XLV. FOWLS.

If we possessed Libyan fowl² and pheasants, you should receive them; as it is, receive birds from the hen-coop.

² Turkeys.

XLVI. PERSIAN APRICOTS.

Though early ripe, we should, on our natural branches, have been little esteemed; but now, grafted on branches ot Persian origin, we are highly valued.

XLVII. PICENTINE LOAVES.

Picentine flour teems with white nectar,¹ just as the light sponge swells with the water it imbibes.

¹ Milk, or a mixture of milk and honey. Picentine bread and flour was greatly esteemed.

XLVIII. MUSHROOMS.

To send silver or gold, a cloak or a toga, is easy enough, but to send mushrooms is difficult.²

² Either because they were rare, or because the possessor of them was more inclined to eat them himself than to part with them.

XLIX. THE FIG-PECKER, OR BECCAFICO. 

Since I feed not only on figs, but on sweet grapes, why did not the grape rather give me a name?

L. TRUFFLES.

We who with tender head burst through the earth that nourishes us, are truffles, second only to mushrooms.

LI. A CROWN OF THRUSHES.

A crown made of roses, perhaps, or rich spikenard,⁴ may please you, but a crown of thrushes delights me.

⁴ Such crowns, or chaplets, were presented by the rich to their guests at banquets.

LII. DUCKS.

Let a duck be brought to table whole: but only the breast and neck are worth eating; return the rest to the cook.

LIII. TURTLE DOVES.

As long as I have fat turtle-doves, a fig for your lettuce, my friend, and you may keep your shell-fish to yourself. I have no wish to waste my appetite.

LIV. GAMMON OF BACON.

Let me have it from the territory of the Cerretans,¹ or it may be sent from the Menapians;² let epicures devour ham.

¹ A people of Spain, whose bacon is commended by Athenaeus, B. xiv 
² A people on the Rhine, near what is now Westphalia.

LV. HAM.

The ham is quite fresh; make haste, and delay not to invite your best friends; I will have nothing to do with a stale ham.

LVI. PIGS' CHITTERLINGS. 

You perhaps will give the preference to the chitterlings of a virgin pig; I prefer them from a pregnant sow.

LVII. EGYPTIAN BEANS.

You will deride this Egyptian vegetable, with its wool that sticks so closely, when obliged to tear its obstinate filaments with teeth and hands.

LVIII. GOOSE'S LIVER. 

See, how the liver is swollen larger than a fat goose. In amazement you will exclaim: where could this possibly grow?

LIX. DORMOUSE.

I sleep through the whole winter, and have become fatter during the time, with nothing but sleep to nourish me.

LX. RABBITS.

The rabbit delights to dwell in caves dug in the earth. It was he who taught enemies the art of making secret ways.

LXI. HEATHCOCKS.

Among winged fowl, the best-flavoured is held to be the Ionian heathcock.

LXII. FATTENED FOWLS.

The hen fattens readily on sweet flour and darkness.¹ How ingenious is gluttony!²

¹  Light and motion being adverse to fat.
² Which discovered that fowls might be soonest fattened in darkness.

LXIII. CAPONS. 

Lest the cock, by excess of conjugal enjoyment, should grow thin, it is put out of his power to do so. I shall call him a priest of Cybele.³

³  Gallus (a cock) also signifies a priest of Cybele.

LXIV. THE SAME.

In vain does the hen caress her sterile mate; she ought to have been the bird of Cybele, the mother of the gods.

LXV. PARTRIDGES.

This bird is placed as a great rarity upon Roman tables. It is only at those of the rich that you taste it frequently.

LXVI. DOVES.

If you have been initiated in the sacred mysteries of the Cnidian goddess, violate not tender doves with sacrilegious tooth.⁴

⁴ If you have been initiated in the mysteries of Venus, do not destroy the birds sacred to her.

LXVII. WOOD-PIGEONS. 

Wood-pigeons make sluggish and blunt the manly powers He who wishes to be a lover should not eat of this bird.

LXVIII. WITWALS.

The witwal is trapped by reeds and nets, while the grape, yet immature, swells with green juice.

LXIX. MARTENS.

Umbria never gave us Pannonian Martens. Pudens prefers to send these as presents to our Sovereign Lord.¹

¹ The martens were sent from Pannonia to Pudens, who was in Umbria, and who sent them thence as a present to the emperor.

LXX. THE PEACOCK.

Yon are lost in admiration whenever he spreads his feathers that glow as it were with jewels, and can you consign him, cruel man, to the unfeeling cook?

LXXI. THE FLAMINGO.

My red wing gives me my name; but it is my tongue that is considered savoury by epicures. What, if my tongue had been able to sing?²

² How much more valuable would it have been! An allusion, probably, to the dish of singing-birds' tongues produced at a feast by Aesopus the tragic actor. Plin. H. N. x. 51.

LXXII. PHEASANTS.

I was first brought to these climes in the ship Argo; till then I knew only the river Phasis.

LXXIII. NUMIDIAN FOWLS. 

However well Hannibal was fed with Roman geese, the barbarian himself never ate the birds of his own country.³

³ Never ate them in Italy; because luxury had not yet introduced them into that country.

LXXIV. THE GOOSE.

This bird saved the temple of Tarpeian Jove. Do you wonder at this? A god has not then built that temple.⁴

⁴ Since Domitian has erected a temple there, he, being a god, is sufficiently able to protect it.

LXXV. CRANES.

You will disturb the lines, and the letter¹ will not fly entire, if you destroy one single bird of Palamedes.²

¹ The letter V, or γ, which cranes form in their flight.
²  Cranes were called the birds of Palamedes, because he is said to have adopted some forms of letters from their mode of flying.

LXXVI. WOODCOCKS.

Whether woodcock or partridge, what does it signify, if the taste is the same? But the partridge is dearer, and therefore thought preferable.

LXXVII. SWANS.

The swan murmurs sweet strains with a faltering tongue, itself the singer of its own dirge.

LXXVIII. THE PORPHYRION.³

Has so small a bird the name of a great giant? It has also the name of the charioteer Porphyrion of the Green Faction.

³  A bird so called, according to Aelian and Pliny, from its purple colour. What bird it was, is unknown.

LXXIX. LIVE MULLETS.

The mullet yet breathes in the sea-water which is brought in for him; but with difficulty. Is he not beginning to droop? Give him the natural sea, and he will recover his strength.

LXXX. LAMPREYS.

The large lamprey, which swims in the Sicilian deep, cannot again submerge its body, if once scorched by the sun.⁴

⁴ Such is its fatness, that if it rise to the surface of the water when the sun is shining, the heat relaxes it, and renders it powerless even to plunge again into the deep.

LXXXI. TURBOTS.

However great the dish that holds the turbot, the turbot is still greater than the dish.

LXXXII. OYSTERS.

I am a shell-fish just come from being saturated with the waters of the Lucrine lake, near Baiae; but now I luxuriously thirst for noble pickle.¹

¹ In which oysters were preserved.

LXXXIII. PRAWNS.

The cerulean river Liris loves us, Liris sheltered by the wood of Marica,² thence we prawns come in large shoals.

² In Campania.

LXXXIV. THE CHAR.

Of this char, which comes well fattened from the billowy sea, the liver is good; but the other parts are ill-flavoured.

LXXXV. THE CORACINUS.

Coracinus,⁴ glory of the Egyptian markets, where you are eagerly sought, no fish is more highly esteemed than you among the gourmands of Alexandria.

⁴  A fish from the Nile, of which nothing is known.

LXXXVI. SEA-HEDGEHOG.

That sea-hedgehog, though it pricks your fingers with its bristly armour, will be soft enough when its shell is laid aside.

LXXXVII. MURICES, THE PURPLE-FISH.

You wear, ungrateful man, cloaks dyed in our blood; and as if that were not enough, you also eat us.

LXXXVIII. GUDGEONS.

Whatever the magnificence of the feasts in the region of Venice, the gudgeon usually forms the beginning of the repast.

LXXXIX. THE PIKE.

The woolly¹ pike swims at the mouth of the Euganean Timavus, fattening on sweet water mixed with salt.

¹ Laneus lupus: A species of pike, so called from the colour and softness of the flesh. Plin. H. N. ix. 17. The Timavus was a river not far from Venice, in the territory once occupied by the Euganei.

XC. THE JOHN DORY.

It is not every Dory that deserves praise and a high price, but only that which feeds on the shell-fish of the Lucrine lake.

XCI. THE STURGEON.

Send the sturgeon to the Palatine table;² such rarities should adorn divine feasts.

²  That of Domitian's palace on the Palatine Mount.

XCII. HARES.

If my opinion is of any worth, the thrush is the greatest delicacy among birds, the hare among quadrupeds.

XCIII. WILD BOAR.

The bristly animal which fell by an Aetolian spear⁴ on the lands of Diomede, a dire object of terror, was just such as this.

⁴ That of Meleager.

XCIV. DOES.

Wild boars are feared for their tusks; horns are the defence of stags; what are we, unwarlike does, but an easy prey to all?

XCV. THE OUNCE.

The savage ounce, not the best victim of the morning sports, costs me the lives of oh! how many dogs!

XCVI. THE STAG.

Was this the stag which was tamed by your halter, Cyparissus?⁵ or was it rather yours, Silvia?⁶

⁵  A son of Telephus, who, having accidentally killed his favourite stag, is said by Ovid to have been changed into a cypress.
⁶  The daughter of Tyrrheus. Virgil, Aen. vii.

XCVII. THE LALISIO, OR SUCKING FOAL OF 
THE WILD ASS.

While the wild ass is young, and led by its mother alone, the nursling has, but only for a short time, the name of lalisio.

XCVIII. THE GAZELLE.

Give your little son the gazelle for a plaything; which the crowd in the amphitheatre like to scare by waving their togas.

XCIX. THE MOUNTAIN GOAT.

See how the mountain goat hangs from the summit of the cliff; you would expect it to fall: it is merely showing its contempt for the dogs.

C. THE WILD ASS.

Behold this beautiful wild ass; away with the hunting of Indian elephants. Lay aside the hunting nets!

CI. VENAFRAN OIL.

This unguent has been exuded by the berry of Venafrum in Campania. Every time you use it, it emits fragrance.¹

¹ A fragrance owing not to the oil, but to the spices mixed with it.

CII. SUPERIOR SAUCE FROM OUR ALLIES.

Accept this exquisite sauce made from the first blood of the expiring mackerel;² an expensive present.

²  From Greece, Africa, Spain, and various other parts.

CIII. INFERIOR SAUCE.

I am, I confess it, the offspring of the tunny-fish of Antipolis;³ had I been that of a mackerel, I should not have been sent to you.

³  In Gallia Narbonensis.

CIV. ATTIC HONEY.

The bee that throngs Thesean Hymettus has sent you this noble nectar from the forest of Minerva.

CV. SICILIAN HONEYCOMBS.

When you make a present of Sicilian honeycombs from amid the hills of Hybla, you may call them Attic.

CVI. RAISIN WINE. 

The vineyard of Gnossus, in that Crete where Minos reigned, produced this for you; this is the honeyed wine of the poor man.

CVII. PITCH-FLAVOURED WINE.

Doubt not that this pitch-flavoured wine came from the wine-bearing Vienne: Romulus¹ himself sent it to me.

¹ The son of Aeneas, who built Alba Longa.

CVIII. HONEYED WINE.

Attic honey thickens the nectar-like Falernian. Such drink deserves to be mixed by Ganymede.

CIX. ALBAN WINE. 

This wine is sent from the Cesarean hills,² from the sweet vineyard that flourishes on Mount Iulus.

²  The hills were called Caesarean, because the emperors had palaces on them.

CX. SURRENTINE WINE.

Do you drink Surrentine? Choose for it neither painted myrrhine jars, nor vessels of gold; the wine will furnish you with cups from its own locality.

CXI. FALERNIAN WINE.

This Massic³ wine comes from the presses of Sinuessa. Do you ask in whose Consulate it was bottled? It was before consuls existed.

³  Mons Massicus and Mons Falernus were mountains near Sinuessa in Campania; both celebrated for their wines.

CXII. SETINE WINE. 

The little city of Setia, which, suspended on high, overlooks the Pontine marshes, has sent us these old tuns.

CXIII. FUNDI WINE.

This wine of Fundi⁴ was produced in the splendid autumn of Opimius.⁵ The consul who saw it made drank of it when matured.

⁴  A town of Campania.
⁵ See B. . Ep. 27.

CXIV. TRIFOLINE WINE.

I, Trifoline wine,⁶ am not, I confess, of the first order but I hold, at least, the seventh place.

⁶  Made at Cuma in Campania.

CXV. CAECUBAN WINE.

Generous Caecuban wine is matured at Amyclae, near Fundi; the vine is born and flourishes in the midst of a morass.

CXVI. SIGNINE WINE.

You may drink Signine wine, which astringes the relaxed bowels; but, that it may not affect you too much, let your draughts be moderate.

CXVII. MAMERTINE WINE.

If a jar of Mamertine,¹ as old as Nestor, be given you, you may call it by what name you please.²

¹ From the Mamertine region in Sicily.
²  Such is its excellence, that it is equal to any wine whatever.

CXVIII. TARRAGONESE WINE.

Tarragon, which yields the palm to the vineyards of Campania alone, produced this wine, rivalling the Tuscan.

CXIX. NOMENTAN WINE.

My Nomentan vineyard³ yields this wine. If Quintus⁴ is your friend, you will drink better.

³  Martial's vineyard at Nomentum.
⁴  Quintus Ovidius. B. vi. Ep.92.

CXX. SPOLETINE WINE.⁵

Better drink old wine from Spoletine jars, than new Falernian.

⁵ From Spoletum in Italy.

CXXI. PELIGNIAN WINE.

The Pelignian vine-dressers send turbid Marsic wine. Touch it not yourself but let your freed-man drink it.

CXXII. VINEGAR. 

Disdain not this amphora of Egyptian vinegar. It was much worse when it was wine.

CXXIII. WINE OF MARSEILLES. 

Since your sportula attracts to you hundreds of citizens, you may set before them the smoky wines of Marseilles.

CXXIV. CAERETAN.¹

Let Nepos² place Caeretan wine on table, and you will deem it Setine. But he does not give it to all the world; he drinks it only with a trio of friends.

¹ From Caere in Etruria.
² A friend of Martial. B. x. Ep. 48.

CXXV. TARENTINE.

Aulon³ is renowned for its wool, and happy in its vines. You may take its precious fleeces, give me its wines.

³  A mountain in Calabria, near Tarentum.

CXXVI. PERFUMES.

Never think of leaving perfumes or wine to your heir. Administer these yourself and let him have your money.

CXXVII. A CROWN OF ROSES.

Winter, O Caesar, offers you a forced chaplet; formerly the rose was a flower of spring, now it comes at your bidding.