ALYOSHA coming in told Ivan that a little over an hour ago Marya

Kondratyevna had run to his rooms and informed him Smerdyakov had

taken his own life. "I went in to clear away the samovar and he was

hanging on a nail in the wall." On Alyosha's inquiring whether she had

informed the police, she answered that she had told no one, "but I

flew straight to you, I've run all the way." She seemed perfectly

crazy, Alyosha reported, and was shaking like a leaf. When Alyosha ran

with her to the cottage, he found Smerdyakov still hanging. On the

table lay a note: "I destroy my life of my own will and desire, so

as to throw no blame on anyone." Alyosha left the note on the table

and went straight to the police captain and told him all about it.

"And from him I've come straight to you," said Alyosha, in conclusion,

looking intently into Ivan's face. He had not taken his eyes off him

while he told his story, as though struck by something in his

expression.

    "Brother," he cried suddenly, "you must be terribly ill. You

look and don't seem to understand what I tell you."

    "It's a good thing you came," said Ivan, as though brooding, and

not hearing Alyosha's exclamation. "I knew he had hanged himself."

    "From whom?"

    "I don't know. But I knew. Did I know? Yes, he told me. He told me

so just now."

    Ivan stood in the middle of the room, and still spoke in the

same brooding tone, looking at the ground.

    "Who is he?" asked Alyosha, involuntarily looking round.

    "He's slipped away."

    Ivan raised his head and smiled softly.

    "He was afraid of you, of a dove like you. You are a 'pure

cherub.' Dmitri calls you a cherub. Cherub!... the thunderous

rapture of the seraphim. What are seraphim? Perhaps a whole

constellation. But perhaps that constellation is only a chemical

molecule. There's a constellation of the Lion and the Sun. Don't you

know it?"

    "Brother, sit down," said Alyosha in alarm. "For goodness' sake,

sit down on the sofa! You are delirious; put your head on the

pillow, that's right. Would you like a wet towel on your head? Perhaps

it will do you good."

    "Give me the towel: it's here on the chair. I just threw it down

there."

    "It's not here. Don't worry yourself. I know where it is- here,"

said Alyosha, finding a clean towel, folded up and unused, by Ivan's

dressing-table in the other corner of the room. Ivan looked

strangely at the towel: recollection seemed to come back to him for an

instant.

    "Stay"- he got up from the sofa- "an hour ago I took that new

towel from there and wetted it. I wrapped it round my head and threw

it down here... How is it it's dry? There was no other."

    "You put that towel on your head?" asked Alyosha.

    "Yes, and walked up and down the room an hour ago... Why have

the candles burnt down so? What's the time?"

    "Nearly twelve"

    "No, no, no!" Ivan cried suddenly. "It was not a dream. He was

here; he was sitting here, on that sofa. When you knocked at the

window, I threw a glass at him... this one. Wait a minute. I was

asleep last time, but this dream was not a dream. It has happened

before. I have dreams now, Alyosha... yet they are not dreams, but

reality. I walk about, talk and see... though I am asleep. But he

was sitting here, on that sofa there.... He is frightfully stupid,

Alyosha, frightfully stupid." Ivan laughed suddenly and began pacing

about the room.

    "Who is stupid? Of whom are you talking, brother?" Alyosha asked

anxiously again.

    "The devil! He's taken to visiting me. He's been here twice,

almost three times. He taunted me with being angry at his being a

simple devil and not Satan, with scorched wings, in thunder and

lightning. But he is not Satan: that's a lie. He is an impostor. He is

simply a devil- a paltry, trivial devil. He goes to the baths. If

you undressed him, you'd be sure to find he had a tail, long and

smooth like a Danish dog's, a yard long, dun colour.... Alyosha, you

are cold. You've been in the snow. Would you like some tea? What? Is

it cold? Shall I tell her to bring some? C'est a ne pas mettre un

chien dehors..."

    Alyosha ran to the washing-stand, wetted the towel, persuaded Ivan

to sit down again, and put the wet towel round his head. He sat down

beside him.

    "What were you telling me just now about Lise?" Ivan began

again. (He was becoming very talkative.) "I like Lise. I said

something nasty about her. It was a lie. I like her... I am afraid for

Katya to-morrow. I am more afraid of her than of anything. On

account of the future. She will cast me off to-morrow and trample me

under foot. She thinks that I am ruining Mitya from jealousy on her

account! Yes, she thinks that! But it's not so. To-morrow the cross,

but not the gallows. No, I shan't hang myself. Do you know, I can

never commit suicide, Alyosha. Is it because I am base? I am not a

coward. Is it from love of life? How did I know that Smerdyakov had

hanged himself? Yes, it was he told me so."

    "And you are quite convinced that there has been someone here?"

asked Alyosha.

    "Yes, on that sofa in the corner. You would have driven him

away. You did drive him away: he disappeared when you arrived. I

love your face, Alyosha. Did you know that I loved your face? And he

is myself, Alyosha. All that's base in me, all that's mean and

contemptible. Yes, I am a romantic. He guessed it... though it's a

libel. He is frightfully stupid; but it's to his advantage. He has

cunning, animal cunning- he knew how to infuriate me. He kept taunting

me with believing in him, and that was how he made me listen to him.

He fooled me like a boy. He told me a great deal that was true about

myself, though. I should never have owned it to myself. Do you know,

Alyosha," Ivan added in an intensely earnest and confidential tone, "I

should be awfully glad to think that it was he and not I."

    "He has worn you out," said Alyosha, looking compassionately at

his brother.

    "He's been teasing me. And you know he does it so cleverly, so

cleverly. 'Conscience! What is conscience? I make it up for myself.

Why am I tormented by it? From habit. From the universal habit of

mankind for the seven thousand years. So let us give it up, and we

shall be gods.' It was he said that, it was he said that!"

    "And not you, not you?" Alyosha could not help crying, looking

frankly at his brother. "Never mind him, anyway; have done with him

and forget him. And let him take with him all that you curse now,

and never come back!"

    "Yes, but he is spiteful. He laughed at me. He was impudent,

Alyosha," Ivan said, with a shudder of offence. "But he was unfair

to me, unfair to me about lots of things. He told lies about me to

my face. 'Oh, you are going to perform an act of heroic virtue: to

confess you murdered your father, that the valet murdered him at

your instigation.'"

    "Brother," Alyosha interposed, "restrain yourself. It was not

you murdered him. It's not true!"

    "That's what he says, he, and he knows it. 'You are going to

perform an act of heroic virtue, and you don't believe in virtue;

that's what tortures you and makes you angry, that's why you are so

vindictive.' He said that to me about me and he knows what he says."

    "It's you say that, not he," exclaimed Alyosha mournfully, "and

you say it because you are ill and delirious, tormenting yourself."

    "No, he knows what he says. 'You are going from pride,' he says.

'You'll stand up and say it was I killed him, and why do you writhe

with horror? You are lying! I despise your opinion, I despise your

horror!' He said that about me. 'And do you know you are longing for

their praise- "he is a criminal, a murderer, but what a generous soul;

he wanted to save his brother and he confessed." That's a lie

Alyosha!" Ivan cried suddenly, with flashing eyes. "I don't want the

low rabble to praise me, I swear I don't! That's a lie! That's why I

threw the glass at him and it broke against his ugly face."

    "Brother, calm yourself, stop!" Alyosha entreated him.

    "Yes, he knows how to torment one. He's cruel," Ivan went on,

unheeding. "I had an inkling from the first what he came for.

'Granting that you go through pride, still you had a hope that

Smerdyakov might be convicted and sent to Siberia, and Mitya would

be acquitted, while you would only be punished, with moral

condemnation' ('Do you hear?' he laughed then)- 'and some people

will praise you. But now Smerdyakov's dead, he has hanged himself, and

who'll believe you alone? But yet you are going, you are going, you'll

go all the same, you've decided to go. What are you going for now?'

That's awful, Alyosha. I can't endure such questions. Who dare ask

me such questions?"

    "Brother," interposed Alyosha- his heart sank with terror, but

he still seemed to hope to bring Ivan to reason- "how could he have

told you of Smerdyakov's death before I came, when no one knew of it

and there was no time for anyone to know of it?"

    "He told me," said Ivan firmly, refusing to admit a doubt. "It was

all he did talk about, if you come to that. 'And it would be all right

if you believed in virtue,' he said. 'No matter if they disbelieve

you, you are going for the sake of principle. But you are a little pig

like Fyodor Pavlovitch, and what do you want with virtue? Why do you

want to go meddling if your sacrifice is of no use to anyone?

Because you don't know yourself why you go! Oh, you'd give a great

deal to know yourself why you go! And can you have made up your

mind? You've not made up your mind. You'll sit all night

deliberating whether to go or not. But you will go; you know you'll

go. You know that whichever way you decide, the decision does not

depend on you. You'll go because you won't dare not to go. Why won't

you dare? You must guess that for yourself. That's a riddle for

you!' He got up and went away. You came and he went. He called me a

coward, Alyosha! Le mot de l'enigme is that I am a coward. 'It is

not for such eagles to soar above the earth.'It was he added that- he!

And Smerdyakov said the same. He must be killed! Katya despises me.

I've seen that for a month past. Even Lise will begin to despise me!

'You are going in order to be praised.' That's a brutal lie! And you

despise me too, Alyosha. Now I am going to hate you again! And I

hate the monster, too! I hate the monster! I don't want to save the

monster. Let him rot in Siberia! He's begun singing a hymn! Oh,

to-morrow I'll go, stand before them, and spit in their faces!"

    He jumped up in a frenzy, flung off the towel, and fell to

pacing up and down the room again. Alyosha recalled what he had just

said. "I seem to be sleeping awake... I walk, I speak, I see, but I am

asleep." It seemed to be just like that now. Alyosha did not leave

him. The thought passed through his mind to run for a doctor, but he

was afraid to leave his brother alone: there was no one to whom he

could leave him. By degrees Ivan lost consciousness completely at

last. He still went on talking, talking incessantly, but quite

incoherently, and even articulated his words with difficulty. Suddenly

he staggered violently; but Alyosha was in time to support him. Ivan

let him lead him to his bed. Alyosha undressed him somehow and put him

to bed. He sat watching over him for another two hours. The sick man

slept soundly, without stirring, breathing softly and evenly.

Alyosha took a pillow and lay down on the sofa, without undressing.

    As he fell asleep he prayed for Mitya and Ivan. He began to

understand Ivan's illness. "The anguish of a proud determination. An

earnest conscience!" God, in Whom he disbelieved, and His truth were

gaining mastery over his heart, which still refused to submit.

"Yes," the thought floated through Alyosha's head as it lay on the

pillow, "yes, if Smerdyakov is dead, no one will believe Ivan's

evidence; but he will go and give it." Alyosha smiled softly. "God

will conquer!" he thought. "He will either rise up in the light of

truth, or... he'll perish in hate, revenging on himself and on

everyone his having served the cause he does not believe in,"

Alyosha added bitterly, and again he prayed for Ivan.