CHAPTER XIII.

AN ANTIDOTE TO ARIDITY AND DESOLATION.

SPEND all thy time to the praise and glory of God. While thou art in health, be ever occupied in some good work; but when thou art sick, be always gentle and patient. And think not that thy pious works are less pleasing to God or less profitable to thyself, when thou performest them with little pleasure or alacrity, or even when thou feelest thyself chilled by interior coldness and encompassed by darkness.

True devotion consists in real submission, resignation, mortification, and contempt of self, rather than in sensible sweetness. To many persons it is certainly more profitable to feel aridity and bitterness of heart, than sweetness and loving desires. He is very pleasing to God, who, filled with faith and divine love, is able, in the midst of his interior dryness and poverty, to say humbly; “O Lord, although I am unclean, and unworthy of all consolation (which most good men experience), yet I will not abandon Thee, but will willingly remain in desolation according to Thy good pleasure and permission.” He is most unfaithful to God, who is willing to serve God while God consoles him, but when he is deprived of spiritual solace, immediately withdraws from God, and seeks after impure and unlawful consolations. If God refuses thee divine consolation when thou longest for it, and thou bearest the refusal with resignation for His glory, thou hast it no doubt more truly, and 197gainest for thyself a hundredfold more merit before God, than if thou hadst received sensible consolation. Such sweetness is not an undoubted sign of holiness, but God manifests His goodness by bestowing it; for He sometimes gives it to those who lead bad lives; and a person should hold this kind of sweetness in suspicion, unless while he perceives it he retains his alacrity of mind, and desire of virtue, and above all the love of holy humility and obedience, and of divine charity.

Those who have been newly converted to God, are frequently so stirred by the abundance of grace in the lower powers of their souls, that being as it were inebriated by it, they are forced to manifest the greatness of their interior delights by unaccustomed words and gestures, or even fall into a certain stupor, and sleep, or ecstasy of the mind. Thus the recent servants and friends of God, through the divine embrace, are joined to Him by a sensible union, and receive from Him most sweet caresses. That sensible union is indeed good which, using a medium, is still within the nature of man; provided that those to whom this kind of grace is given, strive to advance more and more in true humility, patience, and self-abnegation; but that mystical and truest union is incomparably more excellent, which some perfect men, carried above their natural powers, and absorbed in the abyss of divine love, experience without any medium in the highest and most noble portion of themselves, (that is, in the mind, or inner spirit and naked depths of the soul).

Be thou prepared to endure dryness and perplexity 198of heart, and interior darkness during thy whole life, if it be the will of God. If, however, the merciful Lord should sometimes bestow on thee, all unworthy as thou art, spiritual consolation and sweetness, reject it not: but receive it with humility and gratitude and keep thyself ever in the holy fear of God. Be ware of vain-glory and self-complacency on account of this sort of consolation: beware of resting in it or trusting to it, or making use of it for thy own pleasure; for we should repose not in the gifts of God, but in God Himself.

Nature is always prone to self-seeking, and for the most part secretly and under the pretext of a good reason and of a greater good; but we must carefully watch and diligently correct and mortify this its evil propensity. For this impure self-seeking, combined with divine consolations, is like filthy dung mixed with precious balsam. The gifts of God should be wholly given back to God; so that a man should endeavour to keep himself as untouched by them as if he had never received them. Therefore the more benignantly God visits and consoles thee, the more shouldst thou be humble and steadfast in thy self-contempt; and faint not when the consolation is with drawn, but persevere in pious works and exercises under interior dearth and sadness, as well as in abundance and joy. For the barrenness and dryness of thy heart, offer to thy Heavenly Father the fervent desires and burning love of the Heart of Jesus Christ; offer the holy devotion and charity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and of all the elect of God.