CHAPTER XXXVIII.

AGAINST DESPAIR AND ANXIETY IN THE HOUR OF DEATH.

WHAT can be more liberal than this promise of God? “The wickedness of the wicked,” He saith, “shall not hurt him, in what day soever he shall turn from his wickedness” (Ezech. xxxiii. 12). He saith not, if he shall be converted two years, or two months, or two days before his death; but “in what day soever he shall turn from his wickedness,” in what day so ever he shall lament over it, he shall be saved, provided that he truly and rightly laments.

If, therefore, thou murmurest and complainest in thy foolish thoughts, crying out that thy life has not 1 been such as to allow thee the hope of attaining to eternal glory: do thou answer with holy humility and pious confidence, “I know whom I have believed” (2 Tim. i. 12). I know that the ineffable charity of God has adopted me as a son. God can do whatsoever He wills; and He wills to have mercy and to save; for this becomes His goodness and clemency. Neither the multitude nor the enormity of my sins, nor the miseries of my daily frailties, can terrify me, while I call to mind His Incarnation, His Passion, and Death. He Himself hath redeemed me, He hath shed His Blood for me, and by His Death hath paid my debt, His mercy is immeasurably greater than can be my iniquity. His most holy Wounds testify that I am reconciled, if 1 truly repent 101of my iniquities, if I truly desire to love Him. He stretches forth His blessed arms on the cross, that He may receive and embrace me a sinner; I desire to live and to die in that embrace. I see in my God my own flesh; I trust that I shall one day become glorious where a part of me is already glorified. And although my iniquity would repel me from that fellowship of glory, yet the nature which I share will admit me to it. God is not so cruel as not to love the members of His body. His mercy is my only merit. So long as He ceaseth not to be merciful, I am not destitute of merit; and if His mercies are manifold, I am also rich in merits. Every pious worshipper of God and orthodox son of the Catholic Church, may at the hour of death in this manner strengthen himself against all suggestions of despair; be thou, therefore, of that number.

Moreover, whether thou shalt depart hence at home or abroad, whether in thy bed or in the fields, whether by a peaceful or a violent death, let not this greatly disturb or distress thee. It cannot be that he who leads a good life should die a bad death. By whatever kind of death he is overtaken, he will be in rest (Wisdom iv. 7); whether his life end by fire or water, by the sword or torments, by the attacks of wild beasts or the fury of the elements, by apoplexy or pestilence, whether suddenly or gradually, whether with many around him or alone.

Do thou, therefore, trust thyself wholly to the Providence of God; and, leading a good life, wait joyfully for death. And, when it is at hand, go forth 102securely to thy most indulgent Father, eagerly desiring that He should make what use of thee He wills in eternity as well as in time. Go forth, I say, not as about to be cruelly cast by Him into prison, but to be graciously received and cherished in the bosom of His mercy.

Read over this rule frequently, and carefully examine thy life by it; in order that thou mayest easily discover what is amiss in thee, and, having discovered it, mayest immediately set it right.