RESOLUTION VI.

I am resolved, by the grace of God, to be as faithful and constant to my friend, as I would have my friend to be faithful and constant to me.

HAVING before resolved to be zealous in loving God, I here resolve to be as constant in loving my friend. But why do I resolve upon this? Is it 201possible to live and not to love? This to me seems as plain a contradiction, as to live and not to live. For love, in my opinion, is as much the life of the soul, as the soul is the life of the body. So that, for my own part, I shall expect to cease to live, at the very moment that I cease to love; nay, I do not look upon love only as my life, but as the joy and comfort of it too. And, for this reason, I shall never envy any man his riches, pleasures, or preferments, provided that I can but enjoy the persons my soul delights in, viz. Christ in the first place, and my friend and neighbour in the second.

But then I must have a great care where and how I place this affection; for if I place it wrong, my very loving will be sinning. And therefore, I shall always endeavour to make such only my friends, as are friends to God. Not that I look upon it as necessary to love my friends always under that notion only as they are friends of God; for then, no love but that which is spiritual would be lawful; whereas there is, doubtless, a natural love, that is no less a duty, and, by consequence, no less lawful, than the other; as, the love of parents towards their children, and children towards their parents; and the mutual complacency that arises betwixt friends, as well as relations, from the harmony and agreement of humours and tempers. Thus our Saviour is said to have loved St. John more than any of his other disciples, which cannot be understood of a spiritual love; for this, undoubtedly, was equal to all; but being a man subject to the like passions (though not imperfections) as we are, he placed more natural affection upon, and might have more natural complacency in John than in his other disciples.

And, therefore, when I say, I am to make such my friends only as are friends to God, my meaning is, that I will make none my friends, but such as I know to be good men and good Christians, such as deserve my love in a spiritual as well as a natural sense; and since I may lawfully love my friend in both these senses, the one is so far from being exclusive, that it is really perfective of the other. And for this reason, as the spiritual good of my friend is always to be preferred before that which is temporal, I am resolved to found the one upon the. other. I will always be ready, as oft as he stands in need, either of my advice, encouragement, or assistance, to do him all the kind offices I can in his worldly affairs, to promote his interest, vindicate his character from secret aspersions, and defend his person from open assaults: to be faithful and punctual in the performance of my promises to him, as well as in keeping the secrets he has entrusted me with. But all these things are to be done with a tender regard to the honour of God. and the duties of religion; so that the services I do him in his temporal concerns, must be still consistent with, mid subservient to, the spiritual interest and welfare of his immortal soul, in which I am principally obliged to manifest my friendship towards him. If I see him wander out of the right way, I must immediately take care to advertise him of it, and use the best means I can to bring him back to it. Or if I know him to be guilty of any reigning vices, I must endeavour to convince him of the danger and malignity of them, and importune and persuade him to amend and forsake them. And lastly, I must be as constant in keeping my friend, as cautious in choosing him, still continuing 203the heat of my affections towards him, in the day of his affliction, as well as in the height of his prosperity.

These are the rules whereby I resolve to express my friendship unto others, and whereby I would have others to express their friendship unto me.