RESOLUTION III.

I am resolved, by the assistance of divine grace, to make God the principal object of my joy, and sin the principal object of my grief and sorrow; so as to grieve for sin more than suffering, and for suffering only for sin’s sake.

THE affections of joy and grief are the immediate issues of love and hatred, and, therefore, not at all to be separated in their object. Having, therefore, resolved to love, I cannot but resolve likewise to rejoice in God above all things; for the same measure of love I have towards any thing, the same measure of complacency and delight I must necessarily have in the enjoyment of it. As, therefore, I love God above all things, and other things only in subserviency to him, so much I rejoice in God above all things, and in other things only as coming from him. I know I not only may, but must rejoice, in the mercies and blessings that God confers upon me; but it is still my duty to rejoice more in what God is in himself, than in what he is pleased to communicate to me: so that I am not only bound to rejoice in God, when I have nothing else, but when I have all things else to rejoice in. Let therefore my riches, honours, or my friends fail me: let my pleasures, my health and hope, and all fail me; I am still resolved, by his grace, to rejoice in the Lord, and to joy in the God of my salvation. On the other hand, let honour or riches be multiplied upon me; let joy and pleasure, and all that a carnal heart (like mine) can wish for or desire, be thrown upon me; yet I am still resolved, that as it is 146my business to serve God, so shall it be my delight and comfort to rejoice in him.

And, as God shall be my chiefest joy, so shall sin be my greatest grief; for I account no condition miserable, but that which results from, or leads me into sin; so that when any thing befals me, which may bear the face of suffering, and fill my heart with sorrow, I shall still endeavour to keep off the smart till I know from whence it comes. If sin has kindled the fire of God’s wrath against me, and brought these judgments upon me, oh! what a heavy load shall I then feel upon my soul! and how shall I groan and complain under the burden of’ it: but if there be nothing of the poison of sin dropped into this cup of sorrows, though it may perhaps prove bitter to my senses, yet it will in the end prove healthful to my soul, as being not kindled at the furnace of God’s wrath, but at the flames of his love and affection for me. So that I am so far from having cause to be sorry for the sufferings he brings upon me, that I have much greater cause to rejoice in them, as being an argument of the love and affection he bears to me; ‘For whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.’¹⁶⁵¹⁶⁵   Heb. xii. 6.

And having thus resolved to rejoice in nothing but God, ‘and grieve for nothing but sin, I must not be cast down and dejected at every providence which the men here below account a loss or affliction; for, certainly, all the misery I find in any thing extrinsical, is created by myself; nothing but what is in me being properly an affliction to me; so that it is my fancy that is the ground of misery in all things without myself: If I did not fancy 147some evil or misery in the loss of such an enjoyment, it would be no misery at all to me, because I am still the same as I was, and have still as much as I had before. For it is God that is the portion of my soul; and, therefore, should I lose every thing I have in the world besides, yet having God, I cannot be said to lose any thing, because I have Him that hath, and is, all things in himself. Whensoever, therefore, any thing befals me, that uses to be matter of sorrow and dejection to me, I must not presently be affected with or dejected at it, but still behave myself like an heir of heaven, and living above the smiles and frowns of this world, account nothing matter of joy, but so far as I enjoy of God’s love; nor any thing matter of sorrow, but so much as I see of his anger in it.